Children of today are exposed at an early age to deviant behaviour, drugs, alcohol, violence, illicit sex, prostitution (yes it does happen – ma 14’s are proof of it) – they are thrown in to the worst of what this world has to offer at this tender age, therefore it is no surprise that they seem to be heading down a slippery road. To make matters worse they have become obsessed and pre occupied with MXit, Twitter, Facebook, texting and other forms of social media; whilst these social media forums are cutting edge and relevant they can also be a very destructive medium if misused.
Some will say I am ‘old fashioned’, out of touch, or just plain old and therefore past understanding, when I say that I am perplexed at what is happening with our youth today. One cannot pick up a newspaper, listen to the news, watch television without coming across an article/item that refers to our youth involved in – suicide, killings, drug taking, alcohol abuse, violence, unruly behaviour, indecent and immoral behaviour, pregnancies, rape, foul language, etc, etc.
As modern parents some of us seem to have missed – or should I say messed up, the opportunity to inculcate and instil morals, ethics, values and all those time honoured cultural and traditional family values that formed the basis of our own upbringing and social interaction.
In Islam children are an ‘Amanah’, (a sacred trust), from the Almighty Lord entrusted to us to raise, nurture, guide and prepare them for the life ahead. As parents and guardians we have been given that very onerous responsibility to equip them with the tools to become wholesome adults. The goal is to equip the child with a solid Islamic personality, with good morals, strong Islamic principles, knowledge and behaviour so as to be equipped to face the demands of life in a responsible and mature manner. This should begin with the proper environment at home that inculcates the best moral and behavioural standards.
The Holy Qur’an says: ‘O you who believe! Save yourself and your families from the Fire of Hell’. (Ch. 66: V6)
Starting at an early age, the child is taught the religious responsibilities such as learning to read and memorize verses of or even the whole Qur’an, the performance of Salaah (daily Prayer), and all the other Islamic etiquettes that are a standard part of any Muslim’s daily activity. Included in this training is proper respect, obedience and consideration towards one’s parents and the behaviour and attitude towards society in general. . ‘No father has given a greater gift to his children than good moral training’ said the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
The Holy Qur’an says: ‘O you who believe! Save yourself and your families from the Fire of Hell’. (Ch. 66: V6)
Starting at an early age, the child is taught the religious responsibilities such as learning to read and memorize verses of or even the whole Qur’an, the performance of Salaah (daily Prayer), and all the other Islamic etiquettes that are a standard part of any Muslim’s daily activity. Included in this training is proper respect, obedience and consideration towards one’s parents and the behaviour and attitude towards society in general. . ‘No father has given a greater gift to his children than good moral training’ said the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
Remember the days when children were well mannered, did as they were told, seen not heard little angels, who helped with chores in the home, did their school / homework without being told, were satisfied with even hand me down clothing, and didn’t demand so much?….. okay then you must be one of the parents of yesteryear and not one of the ‘modernised’ parents of today. Times have changed …. What has gone wrong?
The major contributory factor to our children’s behaviour is that as parents we have all but shirked our parental roles and responsibilities. Too many of today’s parents take a ‘laissez faire’ attitude and role in moulding and bringing up their children in becoming responsible adults of tomorrow.
To make matters worse, many homes today are not conducive to the proper upbringing of children. The family unit is all but destroyed and some homes are no longer the safe havens of peace, tranquillity and comfort that we once knew. Homes today are filled with family strife, domestic violence, vulgar language, the lack of respect, and a whole host of modern day ills. How then do we expect to raise well-adjusted children in such a poisoned atmosphere?
Is it because we have become a modernised society, because the western influence has caught up with us? In our haste we are too busy chasing and trying to play catch up with the rest of the world, thus easily neglect our cultural, traditional and most importantly our spiritual upbringing and change into someone who is trying hard to be ‘accepted’ by this superficial world with all its illusions.
Virtually every part of the world is confused by the pull of conflicting values and societal pressures therefore the youth of today face many challenges and problems, and these pressures are far greater than when we were teens; more so teens today have to face peer pressure.
Violence in schools is increasing – schools especially in the West have placed metal detectors at school entrances because students are bringing knives and other offensive weapons to school. Some schools even have armed guards patrolling their premises. Recently a student in the USA shot and killed more than 26 people at school, 20 children under 10 years and six teachers.
There are differing reasons for this…..parents are too lenient with their children or simply afraid to discipline them. Discipline is a very important part of growing up because it defines the ground rules and the line between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. Too much discipline can cause rebellion, but so can too little. Shying away from it can only exacerbate the problem. Insufficient parental control can be as damaging as too much parental control.
The old adage ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ does not necessarily mean using the rod on every occasion. It includes positive parenting; showing your child love, sharing their ups and downs, giving them support, understanding, guidance and talking to them thereby creating that strong bond between the family. It is also important to teach them values by leading through example. Children may forget words…..but will easily follow footsteps.
The Almighty has placed children into your care, you are the guardian, the steward and most of all responsible and answerable to your Creator should you fail in this noble task. Remember your child is born as a unique and original entity. Don’t let him die as a mere photo copy of the world.
We are going through a moral crises caused by weakness in our Faith, religious beliefs and practice, we have allowed the lure of this world to put our values on the back burner. Is it not time that we call a national Conference, a Pitso, Lekgotla or whatever to discuss ways and means to engage the youth? This meeting can be a step in identifying the strengths, weaknesses and failings of the current situation in order to make suggestions on how to arrest the decay and degradation of the moral, spiritual and social standards of our youth. The ball is in the court of the Religious organisations.
