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Huge, red flags of a dying relationship

Publishing Date : 03 February, 2020

Author : TLHABO KGOSIEMANG

Relationships can be a lot of work, keeping them running can mean a lot of stress for the individuals in a relationship.

When a relationship is good and healthy, all of that work and stress is working towards a common and shared goal and ‘’It is important to remember that all couples have perpetual problems and can develop tools to deal with them’’.

However, when a relationship becomes more work than it is fun, it can mean that the relationship is slowly dying. In other words, if you can’t talk about the hard things, you will also fell less warmth and affection; and over time less fondness and admiration for your partner. According to power of positivity, not talking about personal things anymore is a sign that the relationship is reaching for bedrock. At the beginning of the relationship, maybe you discussed all of your hopes and dreams, and serious issues in your life. But now, it seems likes all of your conversations are rehearsed and rehashed small talk.

You’re no longer discussing real, emotional things and instead, seem to only talk about how your day went and what to have for dinner.‘’When you share your struggles and difficulties you not only strengthen your bond through your vulnerability but you also set the precedence for an open and non-judgmental relationship for the future’’ says life and wellness coach Dana Peters. Therefore, it’s clear that when there’s nothing left to talk about, the relationship starts to die.

When a relationship is dying, your values are no longer as aligned as they once were. Disagreements turn toxic when your partner can’t even understand where your opinion is coming from. Perhaps you grew up into two different people than you had been when you first started dating, or when you first got married. Important things that mean a lot to you no longer mean the same to your partner, or vice versa. Disagreeing without understanding the other person’s perspective indicates a deep lack of understanding of the other person, in general. And somebody who doesn’t understand you will not make a great long-term partner.

Whatever the issue, you can never seem to agree.Experts say complaining about the same things is also a clear sign that the boat is sinking. The sink is broken. They don’t pick up their laundry. You leave hair in the drain. Whatever the issue, the complaint arises over and over, and it never gets fixed. This means that you and your partner are no longer actively trying to make the other happy. The things that upset you go in one ear and out of the other.

When this happens, a relationship starts to die.Peters indicated that arguing more is a sign that should not be ignored. At the beginning of your relationship, maybe everything was so happy and wonderful that you never argued at all. But now, it seems like all you do is argue. And the arguments are all about mundane or superficial things, or maybe they’re the exact same argument that you’ve been having for years that never seem to have an end, and there’s no way to resolve. ‘’As couples get to know each other better, there should be a progression toward more understanding and less misunderstanding.

Therefore, more arguments mean that there’s less compromise, which means the relationship is dying’’.Further, it is said that when your partner goes to visit their parents, or goes on a business trip, you get a huge sense of relief at having space to yourself. You no longer miss your partner during the day like you once did and you feel your need for space seeming to increase more and more frequently. ‘’If you’re all that excited to have a weekend alone, consider that the reason for your joy is that they’re draining you when they’re around’’, says relationship expert April Masini.

Wanting more space is a huge, red flag of a dying relationship when you no longer want to be around your partner, or are happier when they’re not around.When you are not around your partner, do you feel more anxious, depressed or uncomfortable than you used to? Are you no longer the happy, talkative person that you once were? A dying relationship can make you feel all kinds of upset and negative emotions, and you suddenly no longer feel like yourself anymore.

Maybe your friends and family notice that your personality has begun to change. This is a sign that a relationship is on its last leg. When you thinking about your future, are you suddenly no longer envisioning yourself with them by your side? Has your small family home in the suburbs suddenly turned into a vision of a studio in your town? If you no longer think about them in your future, it may be a sign that they’re not destined to be there.

A dying relationship will no longer feel like something that you can look forward to in future.While we all want to keep our relationships as happy and healthy as possible, sometimes two people just simple don’t work out in a relationship. And that’s Okay. No matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always a chance that you both just need to move on from one another. If that is the case, knowing the early warning signs of a dying relationship will allow you to move on, or work on fixing it if that is something you and your partner want to do.

Not all relationships survive the test of time and there will always be moments when you would feel the need to finally give up and let go. However, it’s not also that easy to just drop everything and leave because you’re talking about something that once made you the happiest person in the world- so you are stuck in the frustrating and often heart-breaking dilemma between staying and saying goodbye.

Take a break but don’t say goodbye. Don’t give up on your relationship yet because as long as you both believe in your love for each other, there will always be a rainbow after every storm. Maybe you just need a break from everything. Take all the time that you need- both of you. Trying to fix an almost broken relationship can be emotionally taxing and sometimes it can even affect you physically so take it easy. You deserve to breathe- and remember that at the end of this remedy, you have someone to come home to.

Talk about it and be honest to each other, experts say. Communicate and be honest and truthful about how you relay feel. Tell them about the time when they hurt you but you’re too scared to show it. Just go on and ask the questions that have been bothering you all this time. Admit your mistakes and have faith in the fact that it’s not yet too late to fix it. One expert indicated that it is imperative to remember why you love them. ‘’You were once the happiest person in the world because you’ve finally met your soul mate- the love of your life. Remember those important moments of elation. Even if your heart is filled with hurt and has suffered so much pain, they’re still there, just waiting to be found.

Take the goods parts and learn from the bad. It’s important that you learn the lessons from all these. Although both of you want to fix this and make the pain go away, it’s not a wise thing to forget and just let go of the faults that contributed to this situation. Recognize that you both are responsible for what happened and try your best not to repeat the same mistakes again.

 

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