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One night stand ruined my career - Naisiboy

Publishing Date : 13 January, 2020

Author : TLHABO KGOSIEMANG

Casual sex, infidelity, one-night stand or whichever way you prefer, might seem cool to indulge in, but it is definitely not the coolest game to play. A one-night stand is a single sexual encounter in which there is an expectation that there shall be no further relations between the sexual participants. If you fancy, it is a sexual activity without emotional commitment or future involvement.

Is one-night stand good? Well, having a one-night stand cab be a great experience- or a not-so-great one…But if you are up for one-night stands like Naisiboy and enjoy having casual sex, then there is no reason why you shouldn’t go for it- as long as you-re safe and on the same page with your partner. Men often don’t see the women they are having the one-night stand with as a person, with feelings. They are there to satisfy their gratification, and Naisiboy can attest to that. For women, it is about asserting their right as a sexual being that they too have the right and power to do as they wish.

Just this week, a 29-year-old popular Kwaito Kwasa artist, and ‘A re tla bina ka Nako’ hit maker Lesegolamodimo Motlhagodi, famously known as Naisiboy nearly broke the internet with his controversial confession about an happenstance, or perhaps a romantic affair that he had with a hit-or-miss aficionado he came across at a spectacle in Jwaneng. It was controversial because it raised eye brows…and some issues were not addressed aptly, and one would actually refer to it as a bad romance! Naisiboy is a song writer, dancer and a music producer who has been in this industry for quite a long time now, and seeing this come from him is absolutely deplorable.

He started his music career in secondary school, but just like any other young upcoming artist, he had no plan on what he was doing, where he was going and where he wanted to be. He managed to penetrate through nonetheless. Naisiboy released his first single while still at school and has been a great pal to Odirile ‘Vee’ Sento. In 2011, he was invited to be a part of Culture Spears’ Kueletsane tour, and that’s where hell broke loose. In his confession, Naisiboy said ‘’I want to take this time to humble myself, confess to the public and plead for forgiveness from those i have hurt in the past.

One day as I was touring with Culture Spears and Charma Girl and during a performance in Jwaneng I saw a very pretty young lady in the crowd. As soon as I got off stage I found her back stage waiting for me to ask for an autograph, and as I was signing her T-shirt, she kept looking into my eyes, out of curiosity I asked her what was wrong. She blushed and told me she has been longing to meet me in person and wishes to be my wife one day.’’In an exclusive interview with WeekendLife, Naisiboy indicated that it was love at first sight.

Not that I have faith in him saying that, because on his Facebook post, he said the opposite. ‘’To me it was just one of ‘those’ since I am an entertainer and because I didn’t want it to seem like I am an arrogant person I gave her my personal number. A week later she called me and we kept in touch for the next year and at that point I was in a committed relationship with the mother of my first daughter.  He said in an interview that he was tempted to have an intimate session with the girl, who he claims changed following her return back home from a visit she paid him.To cut the long story short, Naisiboy had an agreement with this party to engage on sexual activities that ruined his life. ‘’I regret I was afraid at that age;

I abandoned my child because I was afraid of responsibility hence why I requested we do a DNA test. She only vanished into thin air once I asked her to go through the process, something that made me think this was just a stunt, or perhaps a motive to sabotage my reputation’’ he said. As an artist and being a public figure, he lost significant connections and the baby momma left. Not only that, this led to a bitter relationship with the family and his music career came to a bitter end. However, he said he learnt from his mistakes. ‘’I have learnt from what I did wrong and I am ready to make things right. If I am given the chance I will give my boy the whole world I can afford. I want to be part of the little boy’s life.

Naisiboy took to social media to say ‘’ I am very sorry for not being there for my son all these years, I am ready to be part of his life an di pray to God that I find him. I forgot his mother’s surname and please if you know anything or might have heard a rumour in Mochudi about it, help me out’’. Meanwhile, studies found a correlation between poor mental health and casual sex. People who reported feeling very depressed were more likely to engage in casual sex. If you in a situation where you find yourself regretting a one-night stand seek support or either confide in somebody close to you or talk to a professional. However, while we may end up simply regretting our decision, one-night stands can result in much deeper problems.

They can be fraught with all sorts of risk, amongst them being unplanned pregnancies or sexually transmitted infection while negative emotional consequences can seriously undermine self-esteem. The more sexual partners you have the more likely you are to come into contact with somebody who has an STI. ‘’People often have one-night stands when they have had a lot of alcohol or under the influence of drugs. The sex is often less enjoyable, and can be more risky’’. There are also subtle emotional side effects- there may be shame, guilt or remorse the morning after, and if one-night stands and casual sex become a regular thing it can erode your self-esteem.


Some people engage in one-night-stands because they have a fear of commitment- they’re not ready for the next stage, which involves going deeper into the relationship. Ironically, while a person may want to meet someone special, their behaviour is not reinforcing their chances of achieving their dream. Some mix up sex with love. Love can lead to sex but sex does not necessarily lead to love.

 

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