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The aftermath of casual sex

Publishing Date : 05 August, 2019

Author : KEAMOGETSE MOTONE

Casual sex has been glamourized in movies and on television. Casual sex membership websites, often accompanied with pornographic material, make it easy for partners to hook up. Many authors praise its advantages. They assure people of the thrilling excitement of a casual sex lifestyle. Its joys are made to appear unquestionable.


People have come to the conclusion that casual sex is just harmless fun.  According to the blogger of “The Trumpet” Dennis Leap,   he stated that there is no such thing as safe sex outside marriage. “How science has come to this conclusion is amazingly interesting. Science confirms that interaction in sex can either give us wholeness or damage us, possibly for a lifetime and that sex can either keep the human brain healthy or severely damage it,” he said.


He also explained that according to science, during sex there is a hormone called dopamine that rewards people when they are experiencing something exciting and thrilling which eventually triggers addictions if casual sex persists. “In a culture that encourages casual sex, many people are moving quickly from partner to partner. Sexual addiction is often the result. Tabloids are full of accounts resulting in broken lives and others suffering from sex addiction,” he said.


Even so, he further highlighted that it is a terrible problem that is extremely difficult to overcome. “Those who move from partner to partner suffer an even greater damage,” he said. According to Social Constructivist and Empowerment expert. Thabiso Calvin Bogopa, explained that sex is intended to  those within a marital covenant,  and that an indulgement outside covenant is a misuse hence creates a breach of covenant which then births all manner of complexities as testament to this breach.


“Sex is deeper than it seems, because during sex partners literally open themselves up and another goes into them, the vulnerability that uexists to bring about pleasure is very binding emotionally and spiritually.  Should the relationship fall off, the aftermath and withdrawals are taxing and heart wrenching,” he said. A careful observation that most couples eventually tend to look alike has been confirmed to be scientifically correct.


“During sex there is fluid exchange, fluids that carry DNA construct which carries into them physical gene strands which makes the couple identical. The truth in the matter is as much a physically you begin to take after the people you protecthad sex with,it also applies to your emtions and sprituality too,” he said.


“All of sudden you're moody like your ex, you're a pathological liar like your boyfriend, you become lazy and slothful like them because there was DNA impartation.  You become one with them even if you are no longer with them.” He highlighted that the aftermath will affect the next relationship. “You come into it on a single invitation but you come as a host of every other person you have slept with.  And your partner struggles to reach out to you because to do it they must move past numerous persons within you to reach you and it is taxing,” he said.


“Sex outside covenant is grossly dangerous because though you can later break up physically,  but emotionally and psychologically  they can be persons still very much alive to the relationship that when they are masturbating or having sex else where they conceptualize you in their minds. This thought and energy can affect you even after the relationship. A simple description of this would be coined a soul tie.” As much as this casualty excites people, Bogopa hinted that there is nothing casual about an act that carries such depth of intimacy with a child bearing possibility.


“The many complexities and frustrations that arise in sex can be owed to the fact that sex is penetration. Often we penetrate or are penetrated on the surface without having penetrated ourselves emotionally, without having a thorough grasp of self but invite someone to enter into us. Now this alien intrusion is harming to self, it steals from us what we didn't even know existed hence we didn't protect our confidence, self-esteem, or gauge of self-worth,” he said. Bogopa advised people to practice delayed gratification, to do the things that require to be done now so they can enjoy the things that come tomorrow without distortion.

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