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How to SEX your partner

Publishing Date : 20 May, 2019

Author : KEAMOGETSE MOTONE

Although many people fantasize about the act of sex, it has now become clear that many people have lost relationships and that marriages have crumbled down due to lack of proper sexual satisfaction between partners.


Promiscuity has taken another toll making many to move from one partner to another in search of satisfactory sexual experience. Many people have discussed issues of leadership and finance but when it comes to relationships, it is only the elementary, says Sex Curator, Tumelo Sitayelo. Sitayelo shared a depth of knowledge on how partners can satisfy each other sexually to ensure long lasting relationships and marriages. “Sex is one of the principal thing. We are sexual beings, you cannot go an hour without sex crossing your mind, for every average person. Within a limited time, sex crosses people’s minds,” he said.


Sitayelo highlighted that people make a mistake by mystifying sex, a result of which people do not feel free to talk about it. He said this is despite the fact that many people are having battle relating to their sexual life and they do not know how go about it. “You cannot satisfy what you do not understand. You cannot deliver well in sex if you do not know how sex is done and the consequences that comes after indulging. People love sex but are afraid to talk about it,” he said.


He stated that people have used their first experience as their standard and that they have learnt how to engage in sex from pornographic sites. Sitayelo further explained that in a research he made, he noticed that a lot of women in South Africa watch videos in Porn Hub than men. “People are trying by all meanings to know what sex is but are doing it the wrong way. We need people to rise up and teach people about sex without shying away from the topic,” he said.


He also mentioned that the problem with watching pornography is that it gives people expectations that are unrealistic. “When you take things from the virtual world to the real world, you will realise that things are not done the same way,” he hinted. One other issue of imperativeness, he stated that sex is a transaction. “You fill up my need and I feel up your need. It is an exchange. For you to have good sex you need to understand what your partner needs, and understand what you are dealing with. Sex is more like communication. It is beyond the penetration of the penis into the vagina. That is just an act,” he explained.


He said people have to understand that there are three phases of sex. The build up to sex, the actual act and the post intimacy. “Post intimacy is what you do after sex, this means cuddling with your partner or taking a shower together because often women feel they have lost something to men after sex. You need to make them feel loved,” he said. “If you skip any of those stages it can actually cause you to have a horrible sex life. Sex should be made fun and it should be an experience. It is something beautiful that God has made.”


While many women may be engaged with their lifestyle, he said men should find a way to structure things to get her off those responsibilities. “You need to transition her from being a mother to become your sexual partner. Where she should be wild and vulnerable for you. Use the right words to make her wet,” he said. “Set her mind ready as a result transforming her emotions to be ready for a sexual encounter. People are bad when it comes to sex talks. Sex talk involves a series of affirmations to make them feel appreciated and to look forward to an encounter,” he said.


Likewise, he said women should throw in hints that they want to engage with their men by throwing in some texts, sending nudes and showing body gestures that says they want sex. “Seductivity sells, you need to master you art of seduction as a women. That is why prostitutes know how to package themselves. You need to look appealing in lingerie,” he said. When it comes to being intimate, he said partners need to be adventurous and that they need to be comfortable with each other as well as willing to try new things.


“Be confident around each other, turn on the lights. If you are not comfortable with each other you are not going to have a good sex life. Know where to touch and the sensual parts. There are many sensual parts that blood flows through. Reach out to those parts, they are parts that are beyond normal,” he said.

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