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The rape culture

Publishing Date : 07 August, 2018

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Any indication at any time that sex is not wanted means sex is not wanted, that’s a simple rule to live by. One can’t help but wonder how rape got to be so normalized, accepted and excused in our society.  The prevalence of rape and its acceptance by the society has made rape an embraced culture of our people.


On daily basis legal courts are swarmed with men accused of raping some women and the cases seems to be on the rise. What’s wrong with our society, where have all the good people gone, what happened to our very own principles of a caring nation, what a time to be alive! Those are the questions the mind keeps searching answers for. 


In all earnest a woman and a girl child cannot dare walk alone at any time of the day without risking some pervert lurking behind the shadows waiting to grab them and commit one of the most heinous crimes known to humankind. It makes one wonder, ‘naare borre ba, sentlentle ba nwa’ng’, I mean every time one comes into contact with a rape suspect or convict, one can’t help but wonder what really turns a human being into such an animal. 


Surprisingly instead of our society standing together as one and demanding that these perverts be incarcerated for life, we are in a way idolizing them, making them feel like some million dollar Lamborghini. Our society is fast getting accustomed to glamourizing sexual violence, is it because bofinet has given a lot of us access to free Wi-Fi, thereby making pornography sites visitation a job for some people. I mean it’s only by viewing such sites that one’s mind can be effectively twisted to such thinking!


‘Boys will always be boys’ notion used to be the elders way of excusing some men’s bad behavior. That time is over and we are not by any means supposed to roll back the clock, but unfortunately our society still does even when the ‘boys’ are causing problems. Some ‘boys’ have always behaved badly towards women and hailed the notion, ‘boys will always be boys’ to the highest and most absurd level.  Boys are not boys when they start behaving like some mythical dragon that ate the whole village. 


Whenever women dress up and go out, there is a ‘boy’ lurking by the street corner waiting to make their conservative dress code an excuse for his low zipper problem. What happened to the freedom of expression, can’t women express themselves in the way they dress in this country anymore without the society blaming them for ‘having brought it to themselves’ and what does the society have to say about women who get raped whilst wearing ankle length dresses and kids in uniforms. 


Men are allowed to dress the way they want, I mean just because women do not scrutinize their dress code does not mean they have nothing to express but Hail Mary women believe in peaceful co-existence.  Back in the days women walked literally naked with traditional skimpy skirts that hardly left out anything to the imaginary and today women in some cultures still dress minimal but they are not raped. Some men go around with their backsides literally up for the market thanks to the oversized jeans the rappers disgraced our men with but women don’t just pounce and rape them.


The society owes it to women to stop colluding with abusers and justifying their actions. When the society remains neutral about the abuse and say both the victim and the perpetrator are supposed to change, they are in a way helping the perpetrator in avoiding accountability. Victim blaming by the society is done mainly to distance the society from the unpleasant occurrence and confirm its invulnerability to the risk. Bottom line is sexual violence is a choice wholly made by the perpetrator.


A rape cultured society teaches women how not to get raped but a rape forbidding society ensures perpetrators are locked up and keys thrown to the deepest part of the sea. In the end a rape cultured society emotionally and freedomly imprisons its women whether intentionally or unintentionally and we are such a society.

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